The History of the 'F' Word
by Kitty-chan33
Summary: Manta explains the usage of the 'F' word, using the Mankin cast as examples. Warning: LANGUAGE! Duh... Otherwise, this is pretty tame.


A/N: Another repost! Anyway, here's something based on an electronic greeting card-thingy my friend sent me in study hall back in 2003. Err... There's some bad language in here, but that's pretty much it…

Disclaimer: I might as well shred the sign I've made for Ren-kun's butt that says 'Reserved for Kitty-chan,' because as far as I know, neither that or Shaman King will belong to me anytime soon

(Classical music is playing in the background as Manta steps onto a stage wearing a graduation gown and cap. A big white screen is set up in the middle of the stage, and Manta walks over to it, pulling a pointer out of nowhere.)

Manta: Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word 'fuck.' (The word 'fuck' is projected onto the screen.) Out of all the English words that begin with 'F', 'fuck' is the only word referred to as 'The 'F' Word.' It's the one magical word that, just by its sound, can describe pain (a skull appears on the screen), pleasure (a smiley face appears on the screen), hate (a voodoo doll appears on the screen) and love (a heart appears on the screen). 'Fuck,' as most words in the English language, is derived from German.

(Faust joins Manta on the stage.)

Faust: It originates from the word 'frichen,' which means 'to strike.'

(Faust leaves.)

Manta: In English, 'fuck' falls into many grammatical categories.

As a transitive verb, for instance: 'Yoh fucked Anna.' (A picture of Yoh standing next to Anna appears, pointing from Yoh to Anna.)

As an intransitive verb: 'Anna fucks.' (A picture of Anna alone appears with an arrow pointing up between her legs.)

Its meaning is not always sexual; it can be used as an adjective, such as: 'Ryu's doing all the fucking work.' (A picture of Ryu scrubbing floors appears.)

As part of an adverb: 'Pirika talks too fucking much.' (A picture of Pirika talking and Horo blocking his ears appears.)

As an adverb enhancing an adjective: 'Jun is fucking beautiful.' (A picture of Jun in a vain pose appears with Pailong drooling over her.)

As a noun: 'I don't give a fuck.' (A picture of Anna not listening to Tamao appears.)

As part of a word: 'Abso-fuckin'-lutely!' (A picture of Horo giving the thumb-up sign appears.) or 'In-fuckin'-credible!' (A picture of a jaw-dropped Horo appears.)

And, as almost every word in a sentence: 'Fuck the fucking fucker!' (a picture of Lyserg flipping off Hao appears.)

As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of 'fuck.'

As in these examples describing situations, such as fraud: 'I got fucked at the used car lot.' (A picture of Ryu crying over the open hood of a steaming car appears.)

Dismay: 'Aw, fuck it.' (A picture of Lyserg pointing his little handgun to his head appears, with Hao burning Jeanne in the background)

Trouble: 'I guess I'm really fucked now.' (A picture of Yoh with a half-eaten chocolate bar in hand standing next to Anna appears.)

Aggression: 'Don't fuck with me, buddy!' (A picture of Ren pointing angrily in Horo's face appears.)

Difficulty: 'I don't understand this fucking question.' (A picture of Yoh sitting in class during a test appears.)

Inquiry: 'Who the fuck was that?' (A picture of Hao talking to the Hanagumi appears with Hao pointing over his shoulder at the retreating/defeated X-LAWS.)

Dissatisfaction: 'I don't like what the fuck is going on here.' (A picture of Yoh standing next to a lake with a giant tentacle leering over him appears.)

Incompetence: 'He's a fuck-off.' (A picture of an angry Ren pointing at Horo appears.)

Dismissal: 'Why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself?' (A picture of En in his big chair looking at chibi Ren and Jun appears.)

I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all these applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly!

(The whole Shaman King cast walks onto the stage.)

All: (enthusiastically) Fuck you!


End file.
